i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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