I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
