I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
