we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
