Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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