what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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