return my video game
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
