I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
then he tried to convert me to islam
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
