The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
