Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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