Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
