I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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