I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
