She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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