I'm jealous of your bromance
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
