5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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