That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize