Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
