umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
