O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Banned from zoo.
Again?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
