He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
