my shit smells like andre
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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