Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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