i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize