and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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