based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
