Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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