i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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