So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
