Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
