I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
