I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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