Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
