Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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