soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
