sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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