She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
