I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
