you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
