She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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