Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
