If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
