k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
