i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
