we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He did a backflip because drugs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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