Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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