Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
