Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
