she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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