we're blogging at a bar
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
