He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
