She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
