But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
