there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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