This gyro tastes like lonliness
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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