you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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