i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
