We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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