yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't notice because vodka
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
