Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
