you guys were way drunker than both of me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
